Perhaps I need therapy. Brexit has so taken over my life Jacob Rees-Mogg now haunts my sleep.
But there’s overwhelming relief when I awake to discover the Mogg monster chasing me was just a bad dream.
MPs are having similar nightmares about a General Election. They can’t see how one will happen but fear it might.
Then they wake up to the fact it probably won’t.
Theresa May would be mad to call one because she’d be campaigning against half her own party.
Labour worries about ending up in coalition with the SNP.
The Jacob Rees-Mob of Tory Brexiteers mostly have safe seats so a GE holds no terrors for them.
What does is that Labour and the SNP would launch a second Brexit referendum and Remain might triumph.
As I said to shadow International Trade Secretary Barry Gardiner, an election could only happen by accident, even to this accident-prone PM.
Barry disagreed. The PM loses her deal for the third time on Wednesday, announces she wants a mandate from the people for it, and we all troop off to the polls on May 2nd, the same day as local elections.
If Barry is right you might want to consider who to back in a Brexit election, while also putting Brexit aside. Remember, a government is for five years, not just for Christmas.
Here’s a simple question to test your politics which I’ve been trying on politicians.
“A hardware store sells shovels for £15, but after a snowstorm the price increases to £20. Is this fair?”
Tories say it is, citing the laws of supply and demand, Labour not, because it’s excessive profiteering, a view shared by 82 per cent of ordinary voters.
This was thought up by a trio of American behavioural economists in 1986, including Richard Thaler.
He later popularised nudge theory embraced by David Cameron and Barack Obama.
A fly painted onto the porcelain in the Gents at Amsterdam International Airport was an early example.
Spillage reduced 80 per cent cutting cleaning costs by a fifth as blokes were nudged into aiming straight.
Tories believe national prosperity depends on creating wealth which cascades down to everyone, mostly through jobs. So they look after the wealth creators with tax breaks.
Socialists reckon this doesn’t work because wealth creators keep the wealth for themselves – top boss salaries in 2002 were 70 times average employee pay. Now it’s 145 times more.
I’m on the side of free market intervention, and the only argument is over how much.
It’s why I support Labour governments.
After nine Tory years it’s time we called a spade a bloody shovel and had another.
Wrong gong for Martin
I once checked into Brighton’s Grand Hotel for a party conference to find ex-terror commander Martin McGuinness at the reception desk beside me.
I’d never felt entirely comfortable staying at the Grand after the IRA blew it up in 1984.
But this time I slept soundly in my bed knowing its onetime chief of staff was a fellow guest.
Now San Francisco mayor London Breed has caused outrage by honouring McGuinness’s “courageous service in the military” and giving him the equivalent of a posthumous freedom of the city.
Breed has since apologised for the unfortunate wording, but the DUP tabled a Commons motion saying that’s not enough and the award should be rescinded.
For once I agree with them.
It’s true that without McGuinness’s tireless efforts the 1998 Good Friday Agreement delivering relative stability to Northern Ireland may never have happened.
By all means honour him as a peace broker.
But not as the murderous war monger he once was.
Put your thinking cap on, PM
It would take a genius to solve Brexit, and that Theresa May is not.
OpenGenius website founder Chris Griffiths is, and has analysed what she’s got wrong.
The PM thinks reactively, sticking to what’s worked before and failing to work out what would work now.
She’s never in control of events and lets events take control of her.
She acts on her assumptions, assuming good poll ratings would win her a big majority in the 2017 election.
Her thinking is selective so she relies on her preconceptions without testing them to see if they’re right – like believing she’d get her Brexit deal through Parliament.
But the one I like is that she’s “a victim of functional fixedness”. In plain language that means being too close to a problem to see it clearly.
Time she relaxed on another walking holiday. Eek. Then again maybe not.
That’s when she calls elections.
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And just to remind you what you’re missing. This is when we would have been leaving the EU if MPs had let us
Remainer friends shared a picture of a message in a bottle. “Please help. We’re stuck on a small island with a hostile tribe of Tory psychopaths. Thanks, Britain.”
I refer to my earlier tweet, m’lud
When Phil Woolas was Labour’s Immigration minister under Home Secretary Jacqui Smith she gave him some excellent advice which all politicians who use social media would be wise to follow. Jacqui told him: “Dance like you don’t care who’s watching, but tweet as if it’s being read out in court.”
Caroline has bigger fish to fry than Brexit
Most MPs are focused on Brexit. But Green Caroline Lucas has a bigger calamity in mind. Nothing less than the “threat to the future of humanity.”
In a Commons motion she warned of just 12 years to stop 1.5 degree warming which would flood, freeze and fry us.
I was a climate change sceptic. Not any more. Even I can see from our topsy-turvey weather something weird is happening to it.